Remembering the alleged dialogue, where Stanislavsky exclaims “I don’t believe it!”, and Nemirovich-Danchenko beats his chest and assures “I’ll be a reptile!”, I want to say: we need to recruit hysteroids to the theater. And in the movies. And on the stage. Then the person will be in place, his egocentrism will be completely satisfied, and his demonstrativeness will be directed in the right direction, and no one will suffer.

In fact, from a general-hysteroid, you should expect concern about your appearance — whether the jacket fits well, whether the awards are clearly visible to others from this angle, how much more beautiful it is to fall to the ground if a stray bullet suddenly arrives (oh, how tragic!). The hysteroid cosmonaut will bring the Mission Control Center to a white heat with video reports with his heroic face in the foreground, and from the spacewalk he will arrange such a fashion show that it will go down in the annals of manuals for models. Along with two hundred and fifty-six frames of “Me and my little ship against the background of the old woman-Earth”. A hysterical plumber will make your whole family watch the sacred process of skilfully replacing the toilet. The hysterical shahid … stop, stop, stop. There are no hysteroid shahids in nature. Still, he loves himself more than Allah, and the sight of himself in fragments against the background of the landscape is shocking, but unsightly, and the main viewer will be absent.

The egocentrism of the hysteroid can only compete with its own demonstrativeness and can shake our ideas about the laws of gravity: what a planet, what a Sun, when we have such a supernova here! Therefore, do not wait for completed suicides-well, except for an unfortunate misunderstanding: the audience did not arrive in time, the dose of pills was really big, the rope was too strong, and the stool was too shaky, the cut was too deep, the windowsill, infection, slippery — fate also has a sense of humor. But attempts are likely to be made. Because of the lack of understanding and callousness of others, unrequited love (opera theater, she didn’t even notice me!), because of the lack of attention as such. And suicide notes. Yes, before committing suicide, he will wash himself, shave wherever he needs to, make up and do his hair: what if the doctor of the resuscitation team is of the opposite sex?

Having drunk in the company of the least, the hysteroid will be the most intoxicated and strange. Of all those who have tried the forbidden stuff, he will be the most difficult to insert, and he will certainly inform these others about it. If we are talking about a hobby, then it will be one that will fully reveal the uniqueness of Comrade Sumkin.

Speaking of suggestibility and hypnosis ability, it can be noted that, in contrast to the HYSTERICAL, she is present when a strategically important and could give the right impression. If you need to show yourself a persistent tin soldier, then the passes and formulas of immersion in trance will not work: look how well I did!

The chosen ones of the opposite sex are looked after according to the principle “so that it is not a shame to appear in public”. The ideal bedroom — mirror, mirror… And a cheering “it was just amazing, you’re GREAT!”. For complete happiness — ovations and shouts of admiration from behind the wall and greedily interested looks of OTHER people’s halves for the next day and from now on. Having got used to the idea that his half, all so sudden, like diarrhea, and not reflected in any mirror, like a vampire, will leave at any moment — with his external data and the fibers of the soul, the entire opposite sex is just waiting to pounce and tear at souvenirs — the fact that the half, exhausted by this severe form of narcissism, left him first, can plunge the hysteroid into sincere perplexity: HOW??? ME??? I HAVE SOMETHING FOR THAT??? Then there may be scenes worthy of Shakespeare and Byron, with hand-wringing, attempts to drink poison and kill yourself against the wall, with death lyrics-in order to return and throw yourself.

The most likable character-a hysteroid — is, in my opinion, Carlson.

If, due to some fatal misunderstanding, the hysteroid did not find his way to the stage, but got lost and ended up in the position of your boss, remember: no flattery will be superfluous. To admire, to take photographs and portraits to remember! “You have such feathers, you have such horns, your hooves are very slender and a good soul!” If a subordinate does not get to the stage, do not put him for paper work or work involving loneliness — he will wither, wither and will hang around the corridors in mute reproach. Give him a chance to shine in public, hold a symposium, organize a meeting or get-together, and be sure to emphasize the importance and weight of his contribution to the production process.