Author: RAMON MILLER

Schizoid

Representatives of this type are used to being alone. Since childhood. And they are not always worried about this: after all, with themselves, for the most part, it is more interesting than with this creepy noisy tribe of classmates. Probably, “strangeness” in the sense of “being on the sidelines” is about them. Their inner world seems to them much richer and more colorful than the surrounding. It’s like a disco in a bathyscaphe at the bottom of the Mariana Trench. Or a highly intellectual social event in a tent in the middle of the winter Mongolian steppe. Neither for beer without a spacesuit, nor to the toilet without a fur coat and a caramultuk. Multiple layers of virtual armor somewhat complicate mutual understanding with others: try to put on a pair of condoms for the WHOLE BODY and indulge in mutual caresses in order to preserve bodily and mental sterility — you can miss some subtleties that are very important for merging in ecstasy. Hence, some dissonance in his attitude to the surrounding events is like an attempt to give in the eye to his own brother (such a rude, soulless beast), who crushed, going to the toilet at night, an affectionately adored and completely harmless scorpion named Fluffy (defenseless, lonely, suffering from an excess of poison and the absence of a fighting girlfriend being), who escaped from the terrarium. So what if Fluffy was the first to sting this bastard — he considered the toilet his new territory and valiantly guarded it! Wood and glass, mimosa and block — add to the list of associations to taste.

Speaking of scorpions. The hobbies of schizoids are often quite peculiar. If the language is rare or dead, Sanskrit or the dialect of half-extinct, half-feral African cannibals, not otherwise than to discuss the details of the diet. If you collect— then some tricky stuff, like dried excrement of tropical reptiles. This includes magic, occultism, rituals of summoning otherworldly entities (purely to communicate). If the sport is a single one and preferably without competition. The ideal athlete is Fedor Konyukhov. The ideal pet is some completely non-domestic exotic creature with a bonus in the form of venom or at least malignity.

A trained eye will easily determine the appearance of a schizoid, it’s worth talking to him a little or watching from the side. It’s like a mosaic with missing elements: a smile without the gaiety of the eyes and the warmth of the soul in the voice, an attentive look without personal involvement, speech with a muted emotional register, this is a mirror of the eyes, beyond which it is impossible to look, like a toast that sounds like it is not from the congratulator.

When taking such a companion on a joint tour of life, remember that he loves you and will love you even when you completely doubt it: he just isn’t always able to show it with all the warmth, staying somewhere in the high orbit of his thoughts.

As an employee, he is absolutely invaluable for his knowledge and skills, while absolutely unbearable due to isolation and detached coldness with a touch of bewilderment: What am I doing here, who are all these people? It will constantly unnerve the boss, tormenting him with vague suspicions of catastrophic intellectual inequality.

And one more trait that is not inherent in all schizoids, but is found among them. It’s paranoid. A characteristic motto: “If you are paranoid, it does not mean that THEY are not chasing you.” Conspiracy theories, holy faith in the omnipresence and omnipotence of the special services, suspicion of others, even the brightest thoughts and deeds, a cunning squint: why did you ask me about this? Analysis of conversations at work, nothing superfluous on the phone, especially tricky passwords on the Internet, checking and rechecking the truth of what the other half said. They become excellent scouts and security officers, if the same paranoia allows.

Cicloide

Unlike hyperthymic comrades, whose mood and activity, as in a pool with a displaced center of gravity, are shifted towards “+”, these guys and girls have two toggle switch positions: “sucks” and “awesome”. And everything begins with an unsuspecting teenager more often with a click in the direction of “sucks”. And again, more often during puberty, which to some extent refutes the popular opinion that everything is from the nerves, that is, from the head. No, dear electorate, something from hormones, that is… well, okay.

So, between the two poles of mood and, accordingly, well-being, the life of a cyclothymic takes place: achievements, educational and labor feats, success with the opposite sex, communication and companies, drinking under the mood and other benefits of life in the hypomanic — awesome phase and, accordingly, skipping classes, bananas and retakes, scolding at work, fierce hatred for his reflection in the mirror, the desire to be alone, the attitude to sex as a burdensome misunderstanding, coupled with a complete lack of visible prospects, even if they will lie yawning under their noses-in a fig-subdepressive one. By the way, in the latter, attempts to interrupt their mortal existence are not excluded. Moreover, the attempts are not of those that are made before the girls who turn pale and fall into an erotic swoon or their beloved, but unreasonably callous parents-they say, here you all are! These are made precisely out of seeming hopelessness and for exactly the same purpose. Fortunately, most often a wearily swearing guardian angel intervenes in time, and everything ends with a couple of scars, an upset stomach and a visit to a psychiatrist. Also, by the way, it does not have fatal consequences and organizational conclusions. An interesting observation: troubles in the fig-subdepressive phase pursue such a person with enviable constancy: not only does the poor guy pay great attention to them in his current state, he also gives up, receiving a completely fair and therefore even more tangible stick from the authorities or teachers, perceiving it not as a healing enema, but as another abuse in a particularly perverted form, which gives the poor Ia an even greater shade of world sorrow in his eyes.

The toggle switch does not click often — just once every two or three weeks, which distinguishes a cycloid accentuant from a labile one. By the way, the toggle switch can also click very rarely — for example, once a year. And between the extreme positions, there may be a completely normal and unremarkable state in all respects. Yes, here’s another thing: this type should get acquainted with the opposite sex in a hypomanic-awesome phase, break up — in a fig-subdepressive one. And do not confuse it!

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